Unsure of Your Forgiveness
by SulfurHeart
Summary: "I've made a mistake... and I'm too afraid to ask for your forgiveness." / Mustang x Yui / oneshot / *O* This fanfic is sooooo old!


Yui hadn't been in the graveyard for years. She'd stopped coming only weeks after her father's funeral. And now that she looked around, she realized with dismay that she didn't even remember where her father's grave was located. Shaking her head, she pulled some bright red hair behind her ear and looked around, wondering where on earth it would be. She hadn't ever washed it, so it must be dirty. Looking around, Yui found a large gravestone that was shaped like a monument of a cross. Wiping away grime on the name she looked at the name. Yamase. Yui shook her head and stared at the grass and weeds gathering around the edges of the gravestone. Maybe she'd come back later and clean it up. She didn't have time for emotions to get in the way of her business. After all, she was doing this line of work for her father. Would he even be proud? Would, after all this time of being a cop and shutting herself away from the world, make him proud?

Yui's father had been very affectionate, so if she cut herself off from the world, which _definitely_ wouldn't make him proud. She could almost hear him reprimanding her…

"Yui Yamase! What'd the world ever do to you? You need to get more friends than just Mako. So go out and don't come home until you bring home a healthy-looking man!"

The faint thought of hearing her father's voice…if only once more…was nearly too much for her to handle. Instead of crying, however, Yui kept her emotions inside a forlorn smile as her fingers outlined the edge of the gravestone. Even though, deep down inside, she knew she wanted to cry, Yui couldn't conjure up any tears. She hadn't cried in so long… The last time she'd actually cried (and it'd only been a little bit, despite her furiously extreme emotions) was when Mako had been stabbed and died. Even then, it was anger over depression. Yui cursed her lack of emotions. She wanted to _feel_ something… Ever since she'd met Mustang, it'd been a tad easier, but she still struggled with it.

"Being a cop means I can't let my emotions get in the way of my work."

That'd been her motto for so long. When Mustang had come into play, with their histories that were scarily similar, everything changed. Everything became so much more…complicated. She wanted to show how she felt, but she was afraid if she did, it'd all end badly. Her mother had left Rui and herself, and her father was dead. Sitting down by the gravestone, she only now realized how badly it hurt inside. She'd been shutting the world out for so long now that it'd become something of the very distant past…and all it had become was a numb pricking sensation whenever she thought about it—which wasn't very often. Lifting her head, Yui noticed that the sun was setting. It would be best for her to get home quickly. Rui would get worried.

Standing up, Yui gave one last melancholy look at her father's grave before turning and walking home.

Days passed. Days without a single word to anyone. Not even to chief Aya at Kisaragi Station. Aya, on more than one occasion, had opened her mouth to reprimand Yui, but for once, Yamase took the words lying down. It was apparent Aya was becoming worried about her coworker's health. Whenever Aya asked Yui to come into her office to talk, Yui just shook her head, parted her lips slightly to say something, and instead walked away. It wasn't disrespectful, but it was. Aya was angry and concerned at the same time, and being Aya, that was never a good thing. Grimacing, Aya let Yui go on with her life.

Yui found herself going to Rainbow Hill more often nowadays. It was peaceful and quiet, and the sound of the ocean soothed her already-frayed nerves. Work seemed harder now that she had her father constantly on her mind. Now she found herself leaning against the railing that separated the walkway from the completely vertical drop to the ocean. She barely noticed the sound of hesitant footsteps until a figure with curly blonde hair appeared beside her. Even then, Yui didn't turn to look at her kid sister.

"He'd be proud of you, you know," Rui commented quietly, eyes trained on the sunset that was shedding a collage of different colors across the ocean's somewhat-restless surface. "He'd forgive you for being withdrawn. He really loved you, sis."

Shaking her head, Yui dismissed the words of kindness. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Rui turned and looked at the side of her sister's face, pondering why the differences in the two Yamases were so incredibly different. The two sisters couldn't be any more different. At least…not since their father had died. Yui and Rui used to be remarkably similar, and it was easy to tell they were sisters apart from their differences in appearances. Now, Rui wasn't even sure she could label Yui as her sister. Where had the _real _Yui gone? The one that had lived before their father's death? The one who was happy and laughed every day; the one who didn't bury her face in her work and never come up for air?

"He would forgive me?" Yui suddenly said, still without turning her head to examine her younger sibling. "Forgive… I wouldn't if I were him. He would be ashamed of what I am now. I'm so unlike the woman he'd wanted me to be. He'd wanted me to run a flower shop, remember? I've strayed so far from what he wanted… I was never and will never be the perfect daughter like you are, Rui."

Rui stared at her sister, unable to believe what she was hearing, "Forgiveness is something that can never be worn out. You know Dad. He _would have forgiven you_. He loved you so much, Yui. You were always the perfect, straight-A Yamase in the family. I was never that. I've always looked up to you, and I still do now, but… you just need to get a grip. I love you, sis. I really do. But I'm starting to doubt if you love _yourself_. It's just as important." Rui tapped the iron bars of the railing a couple times, chewing her bottom lip for a moment, pondering, before saying, "I'll have dinner ready when you get home." With that, Rui left.

And as soon as Rui was gone, Yui cupped her face in her hands, and for the first time in a long time, she allowed herself to cry.

Credit to original owners of the characters: _Yui Yamase, Rui Yamase, Roy Mustang_


End file.
